Of Darkness and Light
by CCke
Summary: Well, Cordy's got a secret, Angel doesn't know it, and Buffy shows up... finished + added another ending :o)
1. Default Chapter

Title: Of Darkness and Light  
  
Author : Aset  
  
e-mail : Eponine_Aset@hotmail.com  
  
feedback : yes please ! !  
  
sequel/season info : this takes place after the season finales of both Angel and Buffy, although I made some adjustments.  
  
Spoilers : Buffy 1-6, Angel 1-3  
  
Pairings : A/C, A/B, C/X, B/S  
  
Disclaimer : no, I'm just playing around.  
  
Author's note 1 : This is set after the season 3/6 finales, although, 'cause I haven't seen all of Buffy season 6, I made some little adjustments, but it'll all be clear in the story :o) A/N 2: As always my fondest Thank You to my bèta Mel, and my friends for support and approving nods. And a second Thanks to Mel for helping me to find a title! IOU!!  
  
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Hyperion Hotel - Angel's POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It's funny, the way I sit here, reading.I've retreated into a dark corner of the lobby, where a small lamp is my single companion, providing me a little light in the darkness of the shadows. It's funny, when you think that after all the trouble Cordy went through to get me out of my vampire habits, I still turn to darkness. That's the nature of the beast, right?  
  
She does have had a good humanising influence on me, even though she's part- demon now herself. She's the one who made me drink coffee, the one Connor would've called mommy when he'd grown up with us, the one I expect to be laying next to me when I wake up. With her by my side, I don't need the sun. She's my own personal sunshine.  
  
It's strange to think that if it wasn't for my curse, I probably would've stayed with Buffy in Sunnydale, and I would've never cared for Cordy in the way I do now. Buffy is still in my heart, and I do still love her, but Cordy. She's the one I want to be with now, who I can be with. And I don't really regret it either.For what I've heard Buffy is getting along great with our little William. I growl involuntarily, not really liking the thought of Spike and my Buffy. but as long he's not touching Cordy it's fine I guess.  
  
We're together now, almost six months, ever since I resurfaced and got her back, and I can't imagine life without her love anymore. I think that if it weren't for her, our family would've drifted apart. Wesley teaming up with Wolfram and Hart instead of returning to us. Connor out on his own. But things are now slowly turning back to normal, and here I am, sitting in a cosy chair, reading a novel Cordy had brought me a couple of days ago.  
  
My peace is disturbed when I hear some noises, people entering the lobby. At first I expect Gunn and Fred, back from their little holiday, or Connor back from school, but then I turn around, facing some people I never expected to come here.  
  
'Buffy?' I ask, slowly standing up, putting my book aside, and walking over to the group of people standing in my doorway. The Scoobies.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
She hated it here. The hospital-smell, the white walls.Too many bad memories. the days alone at Sunnydale General after being pierced by that piece of metal, after she got the everlasting visions.  
  
The waiting room hadn't changed much since the last time she'd been here, after the little incident with Wilson Christopher. Wesley had been with her then, now she was all alone.  
  
'Miss Chase?' a nurse asked politely.  
  
A little smile covering her face, Cordelia got up, following the nurse inside.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'Hi Angel.' Buffy said, looking up to her former lover.  
  
'He has changed' she thought, studying him closely, 'He's gained some weight. He looks.happy.'  
  
The others in the room just waited. This was always awkward. Finally Angel turned around and smiled at them.  
  
'Willow.Dawn.Giles.Xander.' he greeted one by one, receiving smiles and nods in return.  
  
'Come in.'Angel said, walking a bit back into the lobby, allowing them to enter the hotel.  
  
'Nice place.' Xander said  
  
Angel just smiled briefly. He never really liked Xander, certainly not 'cause he hurt Cordy. And aren't ex and present boyfriend supposed to hate each other?  
  
'So.what are you guys doing here?'  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'Two?'  
  
'Yes.You're having twins!'  
  
'Twins? Are you sure?'  
  
'Two heartbeats.congratulations!'  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Angel took an unnecessary breath. he'd heard of troubles in Sunnydale, but he never thought it would be something like this. Another apocalypse. and now inactivity of the Hellmouth.  
  
'So you want us to.'  
  
'Do nothing.We just need. a little break.'  
  
A silence fell between them, until Buffy pulled Angel aside.  
  
'I need to talk to you.'  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Smiling, she got back behind the wheel, driving back to the hotel. Occasionally her eyes drifted of to the envelope on the seat next to her, and a satisfied and happy look appeared on her face.  
  
'Angel will be thrilled,' she said, a broad smile pasted on her face as she turned on the radio, happily singing along the merry tune emerging from the boxes as she drove back to the hotel, no worries on her mind.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
It was like the world, as we know it didn't exist for her .only him. She entered, throwing herself into his arms, pulling him into a strong embrace, ending with a longing kiss. But instead of deepening the kiss and answering to the longing and loving embrace, he gently pushed her away. Confusion etched on her face.  
  
'Angel?'  
  
Then her eyes started scanning the room, slowly returning to earth, setting eyes upon the people in the room, and then it started to dawn on her.  
  
Buffy. The blonde slayer was standing there too, next to Angel, an irritated look on her face. The same one she used to give her in High School when Cordy was eyeing Angel.  
  
'Oh God.oh no!' was all she could say as the truth dawned upon her, then she ran out of the Hyperion.  
  
Angel moved to follow, but was stopped by Buffy.  
  
'Give her some time, Angel.'  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Entering her apartment, she'd thrown down her bag next to the couch, before moving to the bedroom, crashing onto the bed, letting her tears run freely; it killed her, it hurt.  
  
Dennis felt useless. Cordelia was hurting, and there was nothing he could do; he covered her with a blanket and wanted to hand her a tissue, but that didn't really matter. She'd buried her head in her pillow, wettening it by the flood of tears.  
  
'Cordy? Cor.open up!' A man's voice called out for her, knocking on the door; even though he didn't recognise the voice, Dennis let him in.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Evening had fallen, and everyone had retreated into their rooms; so did Angel and Buffy. When she came out of the bathroom he was sitting in a chair near the window, brooding;  
  
'Hey.'  
  
'Hey.' He looked up, his brown eyes taking in her small figure.  
  
She didn't have to guess what his brooding was about. Cordy, no doubt about it. In a way she felt sorry for her too, but she too loved Angel, and he'd made a choice.  
  
'Don't worry, she'll be fine, she's strong.' she said, moving towards him, putting her arms around his neck.  
  
'I know.I just.'  
  
'Ssh.' She said before stilling him by placing her lips on his cold ones;  
  
'I just feel.I care for her, Buffy, I don't want to hurt her.' 'I know.Xander's with her now, she'll be fine.' She said, ending all discussion by claming his lips once more.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'Cor, are you all right?' he asked when he heard the sobbing had eased  
  
'No.'  
  
He pulled her back, his hands cupped her face, as his thumbs caressed her cheeks and looked into her eyes, all red from crying and a painful look on her face.  
  
'I thought he loved me.' She said after taking a breath, fresh tears filling her eyes.  
  
Xander didn't know what to say. he never had thought Cordy and Angel had something going.  
  
They'd found Angel home alone, and no one mentioned Cordy. After a long talk Buffy and Angel had worked things out. With Spike gone, she'd started thinking, and Angel was always the one she ended up thinking about. To her it was clear that she still loved him, and after their talk it was clear to Angel too. Then Cordy had rushed in, kissing Angel, then running off once she realised she'd lost him; Angel had explained then that he and Cordy were kind of together, but that that was over now. Buffy was once more queen of his heart, and Xander had followed the fallen May queen to her apartment.  
  
'I'm sure he does.' he said, holding her against him.  
  
'But Buffy.'She said through her tears.  
  
'I know.' he tried to soothe her, but he knew that his words were in vain if she really loved him; nothing can mend a broken heart but time.  
  
'I'm pregnant.' She then said, pulling away long enough to look him in the eyes before bursting into tears once more.  
  
'What?'  
  
'I'm pregnant.' She said again, in a shaken voice.  
  
'Cor...'  
  
'They're Angel's.' 


	2. chapter 2

A/N : ( ( ( Thank you for all the reviews ( ( ( you all got a very happy writer ( ( (  
  
A little reply to some of you. (to the others, again THANKS!!! )  
  
Nuttyginger: hope you got the mail, and understand it now. (although telling more would be spoiling the story.)  
  
Cordy's Angel : Lol, sorry hon, you weren't the first (but I still appreciate your effort ;o) ) And more happy news for you: as soon as I've posted this one, I'll typ out the rest of the story and mail it to you ;o) Have fun bèta-ing! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY on Friday.  
  
Adele Elisabeth: * Aset takes the cheesescraper from Cordy and glares at Adele*  
  
* Aset looks at Buffy and is still undecided wheter or not to free her * (well, who knows who wants to kill her off, or in case Angel comes along.)  
  
* Aset waves and thanks Adele for the review*  
  
Tariq: I know I kind of left them out. And I'm afraid I'm not gonna get to the B/S pairing either. Let's just say after Xander left Anya before the altar, she just ran off, and is still hiding out or so. Wes isn't in this story (sorry if you like him. I already had so many characters, and I didn't really know what to do with him.)  
  
Aurora: I hope it will all be clear in the rest of the story ;o)  
  
Melis: What was that about a bribe? Lol.  
  
And again thanks to all the others who reviewed!!!!!! I really appreciate it (hint! Hint! Happy author means quicker updates.)  
  
  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
  
  
'Cordelia, Angel's a vampire.' He said  
  
'I know, but that's. I'm not lying, Xander.'  
  
'Then how.'  
  
'I'm a demon, remember?' She said, a little smile though the rain of tears. It was the only reasonable explanation she could come up with. The light wasn't what Angel let keep his soul, but it was the light that had given life to his dead body, and now she was here, alone and pregnant.  
  
He pulled her close again, whispering soothing words into her ear until her sobbing eased again.  
  
'Angel doesn't know about this, does he?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Cor.'  
  
'I don't want him to know.'  
  
'Why not? If he's the father.Damnit Cordy, he has to take responsibility in this!'  
  
'No! I don't want him to love me 'cause of the babies!' she said, running of to the bathroom, locking her in.  
  
Silence returned to the apartment. the only thing that could be heard was a soft sobbing coming from the bathroom, and the deep sighs of Xander sitting down on the couch, head in his hands.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
*-*Cordy's POV*-*  
  
  
  
It hurts; it hurts so badly and right now all I want to do is to die. But that's taking the easy way out. Doyle once blamed me and Angel for always wanting to do things the hard way...I guess he's been right.  
  
Angel...Another loss in my life...Well, I haven't really lost him, not completely anyway. He's still here, with Buffy...  
  
Another tear escapes my eye and I start crying again. I didn't know I'd have any more tears left. The hardest thing is not being left alone...I'm pregnant. Angel doesn't know it yet, and he probably won't believe me. After all, he's dead...undead...Not fertile anyway. But they're his, no doubt. Yes, twins...I can feel them, at least I think I can...hear their heartbeats, feel them move... I don't know what I must feel, nor what to think...  
  
Xander's by my side. He knows about the babies and he's being really sweet. He said he still loves me, but I don't really know... Angel still got my heart. It's weird...I always thought it was my lighty-thing that kept Angel from loosing his soul...Maybe he never really loved me. Just pretended in need of a substitute, someone to get rid of the emptiness and loneliness. I guess he never thought of possible consequences...Consequences of our acts, of me being part-demon.  
  
Another wave of tears... Xander, who had left me alone about an hour ago, opens the bedroom-door and comes to me, pulling me in what must be the millionth hug of this day, whispering soothing words while he gently rocks me back and forth like I was a little child... He says it's all going to be all right, but somehow I doubt it. I doubt things will ever be the same. One day I've got everything I want, then next it's all gone. Involuntarily I start to laugh. It's all so ironic...  
  
'Déjà vu.' I mutter, wiping away the tears that still were streaming down my face. Xander gives me a little smile, not knowing what exactly I was referring to. My life...like a tape stuck in repeat-mode...got it all, lose it all, got it all, lose it all...  
  
I can hear a nervous cough coming out of my living room and I look at Xander. I didn't really have to ask  
  
'Will, Dawn, Giles and Connor...' he said, an apologetically look on his face. It's true, I'd almost forgotten...they'd been there too... Xander, Giles, Willow, Dawnie and Buffy of course.  
  
I nod and get out of bed, sighing as I wipe the remaining tears from my eyes. 'I'm sorry.' I say, looking at Xander, who had put his hand on the small of my back, giving me some support. I'd forgotten how nice it is to have Xander around, although he can be a royal pain in the ass too sometimes. 'It's okay, I understand.' He says, placing a gentle kiss upon my hair before helping me into the living room where the Scoobies had gathered.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
*-* Angel's POV*-*  
  
  
  
It's like I'm living a dream...Buffy sleeping next to me. She seems so peaceful now, like she's just a girl, unaware of all the badness in the world, living her little fairytale, where she's a princess and I'm her knight on a white horse. I smile a little as I remember the time in Pylea, where Cordelia was a real princess, and I'd been a monster, a hero and Fred's knight...  
  
At that time I was falling for Cordy, at least I thought I was... We got together, and it was great, but somehow I felt there was still something wrong, something was missing. Now I think I've got the answer... Buffy. She was the one I loved all along.  
  
It's not that I don't like or love Cordy, I do! She's a wonderful person, but all the time I've been fooling myself, and her, pretending she was the only one, that she was THE one. She was just a substitute.  
  
I can't sleep. All I do is stare at the woman lying next to me, hear her rhythmic heartbeat, her breathing. Occasionally I remove the strands of hair that have fallen in her face and she shifts a bit. Although I've got everything I want now, I cannot help but worry. I've got this feeling something's wrong... With Cordy.  
  
Maybe I'm just feeling guilty, I don't know, but it's like she's holding something from me... I know I hurt her badly, but then again, I guess I've never been honest to her, and we would've broken up anyway, leaving us both miserable and alone. Now I've got Buffy, and Xander's with her now, making sure she's okay. Dawn and Connor seem to be getting along just fine too. And Connor doesn't really make much trouble about me and Buffy being together... luckily. Or maybe he just doesn't realise it yet.  
  
I know he likes Cordy, she's like a mother to him after all, but he understands. I smile as I touch Buffy's cheek, feeling her waking up.  
  
As soon as I look into those beautiful eyes, a brighter smile plays across my lips. 'Hey.' I say before placing a soft kiss upon her nose.  
  
She yawns, then pulls me into a little hug, and so we lay here, no words needed. Just being close to each other makes this moment just wonderful.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
*-* Giles' POV *-*  
  
  
  
I can hear her sobbing coming from out of her room, desperate cries. Xander gets up and rushes to her side, trying to comfort her. He'd told us how she felt about Angel, and even though she wasn't really my favourite student and Miss Tact at High School, I feel sorry for her. A broken heart is something you don't even wish your worst enemy...  
  
As silence fell between us, and we can hear the sobbing ease as Xander's whispering voice continued. I clear my throat. Almost immediately I can see Dawn and Willow glancing in my direction, their eyes telling me to keep quiet, giving them some more time...  
  
I wonder if that's the way... Xander does still love Cordelia, and I know he's never stopped loving her, but I don't think Cordelia needs a new love now... Just friends.  
  
They enter the living room, Xander's hand resting supportively behind her back. She smiles, but her eyes are still red, and filled with tears. She's still hurting, but at the same time she seems to be doing okay. A calm serenity was to be read in her eyes, serenity and pain.  
  
I can feel unease grow until Connor gets up and hugs Cordelia. It's still strange, Connor being Angel's son. Wesley had informed us briefly, and to be honest it was weird to say the least. 'Hey sweetie.' Cordelia says as she hugs him back.  
  
'You won't leave us, right? You'll come back to us?' the boy asks, looking expectantly at her.  
  
'Connor...' she lets out a sigh as she lovingly caresses his cheek, 'You'll never lose me...I'll always be here for you.'  
  
'But you and dad...' he says, not really wanting to understand.  
  
'Me and Angel broke up, but that doesn't mean I don't love you guys anymore!'  
  
I can see she's fighting back tears.  
  
'I love you too, mom!' Connor says, hugging Cordelia once more.  
  
'Aw. I love you too, sweetheart... And I'll always be here for you, no matter what!'  
  
A single tear rolls down her cheek, but I can see more threaten to fall. She cares for the boy, no doubt there. If you would've asked me four years ago if I thought Cordelia Chase was capable of loving someone else besides herself, I would've doubt that seriously. I even doubted that when she and Xander were dating.  
  
She's changed, a lot. And now I don't only mean her dressing, and her hair due. And I'm not talking about her being Angel's seer, but just her in general...She's grown so much, and matured since she left us and Sunnydale behind... maybe he just had too...  
  
After some seconds they break free from the embrace, and Cordelia comes around to greet us all.  
  
I look at Willow, and she smiles. No doubt Cordelia and Angel have heard what has happened to her... And to Tara. But I'm glad she's doing all right again, and that the others have accepted her again. After hugging Dawn and Willow she turns to me, a warm smile on her face. Even though her heart is bleeding, she's smiling, happy to see us all. When I hug her, pressing her close to me, trying to give some comfort, I can feel she had put on some weight... no that's ridiculous...But I can feel it...a little bump... No, that's impossible!  
  
'Hi Giles.' she says, looking up.  
  
'Hey.' I say, 'How are you feeling?'  
  
She let out a deep sigh, and pain is etched on her beautiful face, 'I'll survive.'  
  
Yes, she's strong.  
  
We all sit down again as Dennis brings us some drinks...A coke for Dawn, Willow and Xander, some water for Cordelia and tea for me. He's a nice ghost...  
  
We start talking, about general things mostly. There are just so many things we have to avoid talking about. Angel.Tara.  
  
I watch her, there she sits by Xander's side, occasionally smiling and saying something. I don't think the others notice, or even that she notice it. her hand which rests on her belly, a little smile covering her face, a little light in her eyes. The joy of becoming a mother, carrying such a precious gifts, a secret only she knows about.  
  
She looks up and our eyes meet. Somehow, the look in her eyes is telling me she knows.and I give her a smile. She answers it, weakly, and again I feel sorry for her, even though I didn't really know what was going on, nor how she got pregnant.  
  
  
  
*-*-* 


	3. chapter 3

A/N: As usual, a thank you to my reviewers! I love you guys! Keep on working. lol  
  
Okay, it's a bit shorter, but that doesn't make it a bad chapter, right? Still B/A with C/A undertones and X/C friendship. (Well, if it's gonna be B/A or C/A, that's still to find out huh. Maybe I should set up a poll. Or not, then I might have to revise my ending. lol) Anyway, review plz!  
  
*-*-*  
  
PART THREE  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
A little beam of sunlight emerged form the prison of curtains, gently caressing her face, forcing her to leave her dreams behind.  
  
A moan escapes her lips 'no.'  
  
Too soon to wake up, too soon, too bright.  
  
Slowly her eyes flutter open, quickly closing again, trying to adjust to the light.  
  
Light. a switch went off in her brains. sun!  
  
Like struck by lightening she jumped out of bed, closing the curtains for real now, closing off all sunlight. A reaction, all normal. Consequences of having lived with a vampire for so long.  
  
Cordy sighed as she slowly left her dreams behind.  
  
'No Angel in here anymore.' She said while opening her curtains completely, looking at the sun who was shining brightly. A new day.  
  
Stumbling towards the bathroom, she set eyes upon Xander, still fast asleep on the couch.  
  
'Dork.' She mumbled. It was funny how Xander, and his clumsy ways reminded her of Angel.  
  
'Maybe that's why I fell for him.' She thought last night, thinking her relationship with Angel over.  
  
'Maybe I just saw a heroic version of Xander, and fell for that act again.' She'd told herself in an attempt to make her feel better, but it didn't really work. Truth was she loved Angel, more than anything else in this world, and it killed her.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
By the time Angel and Buffy got downstairs, the kitchen was already pretty crowded. Dawn and Connor talking some more while finishing their bowls of cereal, Gunn and Fred eating toast while making googoo-eyes at each other, Wesley who had just arrived taking a cup of coffee, talking to Giles and Willow.  
  
'Good morning!' Buffy said as she entered the kitchen.  
  
The others smiled, and Angel, coming in right behind Buffy, greeted them too.  
  
'Where's Xander?' he asked, getting some weird looks. It was true he didn't like Xander, but he just wanted to know.If Xander was here, so was Cordy. And that's what he really wanted to know. There were still some things left unsaid, things that needed to be cleared up between them.  
  
'Still at Cordy's.' Gunn said, taking up the pot of coffee, 'Want some?'  
  
'No, thanks.'  
  
'So. what 'cha guys gonna do today?' Fred asked.  
  
'I dunno. We shall see.' Angel said, pulling Buffy onto his lap, pressing a kiss upon her soft hair, inhaling the sweet scent. 'I think making up for lost time is a good plan.' He then said, smiling down upon the woman he loved.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
When she got out of the bathroom after a refreshing shower, she found him in the kitchen, making fresh coffee while Dennis was setting the table for breakfast.  
  
'Hey.' She greeted them in a soft voice.  
  
'Good morning.' Xander said as he saw Cordy emerging from the bathroom, walking into the kitchen. Her voice was raw of the tears, and her eyes were still a bit swollen due to the many sobs last night. Her skin had gotten a bit paler, and dark circles were visible around her eyes, reminders of a sleepless night, and morning sickness, the miserable feeling still etched on her pale features. He hated seeing her like this, not because it made her less beautiful, no. Just because it made him feel miserable too.  
  
'How are you feeling?' he asked as he watched her sit down, gratefully accepting the cup of coffee Dennis handed her.  
  
'I'm okay, Xander, don't worry.' She said with a weak smile before nipping at the dark liquid.  
  
He smiled back and went to sit down across from her.  
  
'Listen.I got to pick up some stuff at the hotel.I won't be long.'  
  
'I'm coming along.' She said, interrupting him.  
  
'Cor.'  
  
'No, I want to come along.besides I've still got stuff down there too.' A sigh escaped her lips and Xander got a hold of her hand, gently squeezing it.  
  
'Are you sure.about coming along I mean?'  
  
'Yes.I'll be fine.'  
  
  
  
*-*-* 


	4. chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I guess also for the 'I hate your story'- reviews. Guys, who said this was a B/A centered fic? And on the other hand. C/A. Who says that's gonna happen? (well, I already made up my mind.) Anyway, don't get mad at me just yet. Keep those reviews coming. And, since I'm an Angelfan, and like probably everyone else a bit saddened by the news of Glenn Quinn's death, I'd like to dedicate this chapter (or story.) to him. We'll miss u!!!  
  
(anyway, the most important thing I've said here: reviews please! ;o) What can I say. I love them!)  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
Part 4  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Willow's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
'She seems so happy.' I say as I watch them leave.Buffy and Angel. Who would've thought they would get back together? It's good to see her smile again. I know she misses Spike, and as funny as it may sound, so do I. He's changed, and he really cared about her, but Angel's her true love.  
  
'Yes.' Giles says as he turns around to face me, 'She's doing fine .' He says, a smile on his face.  
  
Giles has always looked upon Buffy as some sort of daughter, and I know he's happy for her.  
  
'But I'm afraid others aren't doing that well.' He continued.  
  
Silence falls. I don't know.  
  
'Cordelia.' He says, and as I think it over, I know he's right.  
  
'Yes, poor Cordy. She really loves Angel.'  
  
'She's hurting. But Willow, didn't you noticed anything about her yesterday?'  
  
'What do you mean?'  
  
I can see him hesitate, then after taking a breath he says, 'I don't think she's alone.'  
  
'Of course not.We're here for her, and Xander's with her now.'  
  
'No, I mean.'  
  
'Oh .Oh!' I exclaim as it dawned on me. 'You think she's pregnant?'  
  
I see him nod slowly. More questions start to rise, but I know Giles doesn't have the answers, only Cordy does.  
  
The most urging one being about the father.  
  
'Have you talked to her?'  
  
'No, not yet.'  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Her palms were sweaty, and she thought she would faint as they entered the lobby of the hotel. She did regret telling him she wanted to come along, maybe she just should've waited just a bit longer. She didn't know if she could handle, seeing Angel, with Buffy.  
  
But then again, her stuff was still down there, and maybe; maybe it was for the best she told Angel about the babies.  
  
Xander could sense she was nervous, and put an arm around her, wanting to protect her from more hurt, and from Angel.  
  
They found the lobby desolated, and walked on to the kitchen, where they could hear two people whispering.  
  
'Xander!' Willow said cheerfully as she saw her friend enter the room, followed by Cordelia.  
  
'Hey.' He said, looking over to Cordelia, worried as ever.  
  
'Cordelia.What are you doing here?' Giles said as he got up, urging her to sit down.  
  
'Guys, I'm not dying!' she said, but went to sit down anyway. 'We're here to pick up some stuff.' Xander said, 'Cor has still got some things over here too.'  
  
'Is. Is Angel here?' Cordy asked after a while.  
  
'Yes.He.He's with Buffy.' Willow said, giving her an apologetic look. Of course she was thrilled for Buffy and Angel, but seeing Cordelia hurt like this. It made her sad too.  
  
Xander left, looking for his suitcase, after making sure Cordy was in good hands.  
  
An uncomfortable silence fell, everyone retreated into their own minds, Cordelia feeling even more miserable as she thought of Angel and Buffy together.  
  
'Uhm .Cordelia?' Giles asked, clearing his throat.  
  
The young woman looked up, and he could see she was fighting back tears.  
  
'What I've been meaning to ask.I know.I understand if you.'  
  
'Giles, just ask.' Cordelia said, the watcher's stammering reminded her of Wesley's. Watcher's trademark.  
  
'Have you and Angel.been intimate?' he asked, a slight blush spreading over his cheeks.  
  
'Giles!' Willow said, surprised Giles was being so direct.  
  
'It's okay Will, I know he's worried for Buffy. and yes.'  
  
'But you knew about the curse?'  
  
'We did. well . but, you know.' Now Cordy was the one blushing.  
  
'How should I say this.we held back until there was too much tension, and then fucked like bunnies?' she thought.  
  
Giles and Willow nodded.  
  
'And he stayed souled.' she added, saddened by the memory. They'd been happy together.  
  
'I always thought it was because of me...' She said, still lost in thought.  
  
'What do you mean?'  
  
Cordy gave them a little smile, and started to glow.  
  
'Good grief!'  
  
'You're; ; ;you're.'  
  
'Glowing? Half-demon? Yup, that's me now.' Cordy said as a weak smile appeared on her face as she saw the shocked expressions on their faces.  
  
'How?' Willow was the first to speak.  
  
'Well, the visions were killing me, so the PTB made me a little bit more of a freak.' She explained with a laugh.  
  
'You're Angel's seer.' Giles stated. He'd been suspicious for a long time about this, but didn't dare to ask.  
  
Cordy nodded and let out a sigh;  
  
Just as the conversation threaten to silence again, Xander entered, dragging Willow with him. He couldn't find his suitcase.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
They were both awake, yet they had gone back to bed, and lay there together, snuggled up against each other, while they were talking.  
  
She looked up, putting a strand of hair behind her ear as she kissed him on the cheek.  
  
'Maybe we should get downstairs again. Giles and Willow are down there, and Connor and Dawn.'  
  
He grumbled as she went to sit up, taking away her warmth, but he didn't protest.  
  
Standing up, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her passionately  
  
'You owe me.' He whispered in her ear.  
  
She just smiled and opened the door.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'Ask it.' She said, looking at the pensive face of the watcher.  
  
'What?'  
  
'I know something's bothering you, so just say it, or ask it.'  
  
For a moment he didn't know what to say. He felt like a child caught while taking a cookie without asking.  
  
'I.uhm.Are you.?'  
  
'Am I?'  
  
'Pregnant?'  
  
Okay, that blew her over.  
  
'How did you.?'  
  
'While you hugged me.I felt. and well.I assumed.'  
  
'Oh .' She blushed and looked down.  
  
He went to sit down next to her, and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, 'Who's the father?'  
  
'Angel.' She said, looking up to him, breaking down in tears.  
  
He pulled her against him, trying to comfort her.  
  
'Angel?' he asked, 'but he's.'  
  
'I know, but I'm not exactly human myself anymore.'  
  
Right, he'd forgotten that. Suddenly he felt even more sorry for her. It was horrible Angle had left her, but now she was carrying his child.  
  
'Does Angel know?'  
  
'No.' She said as she pulled back, drying her tears, 'I'm sorry.' She said.  
  
He gave her a little smile.  
  
'I'd better get my stuff.' She said as she got up, letting Giles walk her to the lobby.  
  
'Angel.' he started to say.  
  
She nodded, understanding all of a sudden. 'Maybe I should.' she sighed, then they heard voices coming from up the stairs.  
  
Angel and Buffy.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'Oh come on, Will! You're saying you guys just forgot about me?' Xander said, picking up his bag from out of the trunk.  
  
'Well.' The redhead said, not wanting to say 'yes' to her best friend, even though that was about the truth.  
  
Xander grumbled as he took his suitcase and made his way to the hotel again.  
  
'Xander.' She let out a sigh and followed him.  
  
'How's Buffy doing?' he asked after they started climbing the stairs.  
  
'Good.' Willow answered, a bit surprised by Xander's change of mood, 'She's happy with Angel.' She continued with a little smile.  
  
'Bastard.' Xander cursed silently.  
  
'Xander!' Willow said warningly, after hearing Xander's remark. She knew the two never really got along, and after what happened, she couldn't really blame her friend for feeling that way. But on the other hand, Angel's the one who made Buffy happy.  
  
'No Will. You don't know what he's done, you don't know what he's like.' Xander raised his voice while he turned around to face his friend.  
  
'I do. He's good.Buffy.'  
  
'Buffy isn't the one crying, Will! She isn't the one who'll have to watch her children grow up without their real father!' He said, then moved on, realising he shared too much already.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Buffy's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
I'm giggling while we're coming down the stairs, Angel tickling and teasing me. Entering the lobby I stop and keep quiet. Down there I see the person I expected the least.  
  
'Cordelia.' I say, still abashed to see the brunette, now blonde, in the lobby.  
  
I can feel Angel stop behind me, taking in an unnecessary breath.  
  
'Buffy.' she says as she looks up to face me. She looks pale, dark circles around her eyes, and her gaze is like ice. 'Angel.' Her voice is softer as she speaks his name, and I feel the anger inside of me growing. I know Angel swore he loves me, and I know he does, but it's still weird to say the least.  
  
'What are you doing here?' I ask, my voice sounding harsher then I intended it to be.  
  
'I.' She starts, looking over to Giles, 'I came to pick up some stuff.' She continues, her eyes still showing no emotion, but I can hear her voice crack a bit.  
  
I nod and look over to Angel. He's still behind me, and I try to read his mind, looking into his eyes, but I can't see anything. His eyes are just two dark pools where I can drown in, but not showing anything.  
  
Then he nods and walks down, allowing her to go up to gather her things. When she passes me I expect the icy look, Queen C - style. I get none, she just looks down.  
  
I get ready to pass out a remark, but stop when I can feel Angel staring at me. He knows what I'm thinking  
  
'Playing the poor pathetic ex', but I keep my mouth shut as I walk over to Angel, taking my place next to him.  
  
This is where I belong, where I've always belonged.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
She sighed as she pushed the door to his chamber open, letting memories pass by. It hadn't changed that much; it was still dark, and Angel's scent still filled the room. But instead of the neatly tide-up bed, she set eyes upon sheets roughly pulled away, and pillows. A dagger in her heart. She took another breath and walked on to the closet, opening the door.  
  
He'd given her half his closet at the time. For a guy with a black- clothing sense and not really that much clothes, it wasn't really a sacrifice, but she'd found it sweet.  
  
Tears started to well up in her eyes a she started to remove her sweaters from the shelf, caressing the fabric as she put them away in a box.  
  
'Need some help?'  
  
She let out a scream as she heard the voice behind her.  
  
'Angel!'  
  
'Sorry.' He said, puppy-dog look on as usual.  
  
She gave him a weak smile and went to sit down on the bed, tossing away the sheets that were lying in the way. He went to sit down next to her, knowing they needed to talk.  
  
  
  
*-*-* 


	5. chapter 5

A/N: Okay, thanks for the reviews :o)!!! Again a shorter chapter, but I'll put a new one up after the weekend (or when I get lots and lots of reviews ;o) lol)  
  
Kristi: tnx :o) Hope this was soon enough ;o)  
  
Cire : well. Here's chapter 5. Hope you like it :o) She's not crying that much anymore  
  
Tariq: Gunn and Fred are around somewhere, Lorne is already/still in Vegas and Wesley. Well, he's with Lilah (Lorne and Wesley aren't in the story, sorry)  
  
Chantal: tnx for the review! :o) And to be honest, I really enjoy writing, so you shouldn't really be thanking me to write :o) I should be thanking you guys all for reviewing! (isn't that why we all write?)  
  
Si.Crazy: New chapter will be up on Monday or Tuesday. :o)  
  
Aurora: Thank you for the review, it's really cool someone is thinking that hard about the story. And Spike. Well, I haven't really included him in. I think I've included him in one of the next chapters. Let's say he's somewhere in Sunnydale with. Anya? Alone? You choose :o)  
  
*-*-* PART FIVE *-*-*  
  
  
  
'So, how are you?' he asked, shifting uncomfortably. He knew there were better things to say, but at that point he just couldn't think of any. Almost 250 years, and still lost for words.  
  
'I'm fine, I'll live.' She said, although they both knew that was a lie.  
  
He nodded and inhaled deeply.  
  
'How about you?'She said, giving his hand a little squeeze to let him know she cared, even though it hurt like hell.  
  
'I'm good.' He said, looking into her eyes for the first time since Buffy's return. He didn't really know what he could see in them. love, hope, pain, hate.joy?  
  
That's something he never really got about her, how she could see right through him, guessing his deepest emotions, and she remained always a little mystery to him.  
  
She turned her gaze away from him. too much pain. and got up.  
  
'Well, I'd better finish.' she said, then collapsed onto the floor.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'Hey Buffy.' Xander said as they emerged from the garage, putting his suitcase down.  
  
Buffy smiled at her friends, glad they just came in, and broke the tension that was still hanging in the room.  
  
'Where's Cordelia?' Willow asked as she scanned the room, looking for familiar faces.  
  
'Upstairs gathering her belongings.' Giles answered.  
  
'And Dead Boy?' Xander asked.  
  
'Is with her.' Buffy completed, not even arguing when Xander said 'Dead Boy'.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
She moaned as she opened her eyes, feeling a cool hand holding hers and another hand brushing away the hair out of her face.  
  
'Hey,' he said in a soft voice, 'how are you feeling?'  
  
'Miserable.' She said, not really lying.  
  
'Can I get you anything?'  
  
'No. '  
  
'What did you see?' He asked, assuming she had a vision.  
  
At that she broke down in tears, letting out her frustrations. She did have a vision, but couldn't really make much out of it. And vision- aftermath when you're pregnant.so not fun!  
  
He gently pulled her into his arms.. Old habit.  
  
'Ssh. does it hurts again?'  
  
She shook her head, then gently sobbed on against his shoulder.  
  
'Cor.what did you see?' he hated to push her like this, but what had to be done, had to be done.  
  
'I don't really know.' She said, pulling back, looking at him as a single tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
He brushed it away with his thumb and said, 'What do you mean?'  
  
'The image.the sounds. it's all blurred.Like I was in some kind of room,' she said, trying to explain it the best she could, then, as she did so, more things were coming back to her, and as new tears found their way down across her cheek, she continued.  
  
'I could hear crying. a baby. and then.you.' She said, looking at him, 'I saw you, Angel!'  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'You mean she's up there with HIM?' Xander asked, raising his voice again. He so wasn't liking this!  
  
'Xander, relax!' Buffy said, even though she wasn't really comfortable with that thought herself. Cordy coming back to get her stuff and accidentally bumping into Angel is one thing, she going up and he following her is another!  
  
'How can you say 'relax' if he's up there with her right now?'  
  
'Xander, we mustn't draw our conclusions just yet! Cordelia is his seer, it's only naturally Angel's worried about her,' Giles said, being reasonable and calm as always.  
  
'Giles' is right, Xander. They will be right down.' Willow jumps in, looking over to Buffy.  
  
'Right.' The Slayer said, walking into the kitchen.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'You saw me?' he asked as he pulled her close again.  
  
She just nodded.  
  
'What? Why?' he asked.  
  
'I don't know, Angel. I just. hear that, and then your face, then it's all over.' She said.  
  
He nodded and looked at her.listening.  
  
'Cordy?' he asked as he thought he heard something. beating rapidly  
  
'Yes?'  
  
'Nothing.' he then said, blaming it on his vampiric hearing. It was probably just a mouse or something.  
  
She got up and started walking over to the closet, putting the remaining clothes back in a box.  
  
'Sure you're okay?' he asked, walking up to the door. She remained silent for a while, then called him back. She walked up to him, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket.  
  
'I think you might want to read this.' She said, then got the box and got out of the bedroom, leaving Angel alone.  
  
'I'll call if there's more on the vision.' She said, before closing the door. 


	6. chapter 6

A/N: wow, this is going well. I've decided to make this 10 chapters long (epilogue inclusive :o) ) Wonder if I can make 100 reviews. lol. Anyway, thanks for the reviews! (and keep them coming!) I know this chapter is short, but I wanted this ending :o)  
  
  
  
*-*-* PART SIX *-*-*  
  
  
  
He was still staring at the paper when she entered the room.  
  
'Hey.' She said, walking up to him.  
  
He quickly tossed aside the piece of paper and smiled at her.  
  
'Hey.' He said after clearing his throat.  
  
'Everything all right ?' she looked at him, a worried look on her face. He'd been up in his room ever since Cordelia had come down and she and Xander had left again.  
  
'Yeah, I'll be right down.' He said, getting up, giving her a little kiss.  
  
She smiled and closed the door again, sensing he needed some time alone. He sighed and went to sit down again, taking up the paper, reading it over again. The results of Cordy's blood test, then a little note from Cordy herself.  
  
  
  
'Dear Angel,  
  
Even though things are complicated between us now, I thought you had a right to know this.  
  
I'm pregnant, for 4 months now. I wish I could've told you sooner, but I wasn't sure myself, or  
  
couldn't believe it either.  
  
I know what you are thinking right now. That it's impossible, that I haven't been loyal to you.  
  
You're the father, Angel. I guess being part-demon has more too it then just being lighty and a seer.  
  
Right now, I don't know why I'm writing this all down, but you had the right to know.  
  
Don't feel obliged to come back to me. If it's Buffy you love, so be it. Being a substitute isn't really what I want to be, or being loved because I'm the one to give birth to your children (yes, twins). Children can feel it when the love between their parents isn't what it's supposed to be.  
  
I hope you can find happiness,  
  
Know that I'll always love you,  
  
Cordy.'  
  
  
  
A father. it took some time to get through to him. It explained it though.why she was so restless at night, sometimes sick in the morning .the sounds he heard just a couple of minutes ago when she was still here with him in the room.  
  
'Damn it, Cor!' he cursed, getting up, pacing through the room. He felt guilty, a nagging feeling inside this gut, he knew she was right.  
  
He hid the paper in a drawer and took in an unnecessary breath as he opened the door, walking down to the woman he loved .  
  
'Buffy's the one I belong too.' He said, but swore he'd be there for Cordy and their children.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
Entering the car she broke down crying. She tried to be brave, but no more of that.  
  
Her heart had rejoiced when he had rejoined her in the room, but the joy was quickly replaced with pain once more when he had told her how happy he was with the Slayer. Xander tried to comfort her, but his soothing words no longer helped.  
  
'Just drive us home, Xander.' Cordy said, not wanting to wait until Angel had read the paper. She already knew what he would do. turn to Buffy.  
  
Even though the pain in her heart was killing her psychologically, an even more excruciating pain started to manifest in her lower abdomen, causing her to cringe.  
  
'Cordy! Cor, what's wrong?!' Xander called out, slowing the car down.  
  
As the pain eased again, she looked up, tears in her eyes.  
  
Xander didn't really know what to do. He could read the fear in her eyes, and was scared himself.  
  
'I'm bleeding.' she said, her face turning pale. 


	7. chapter 7

A/N: Hi everyone! Look: Chapter 7 !!! And it's longer!! As usual, thank you, my dear reviewers!  
  
Aurora: I don't think Anya had something to do with it. But in the end, things will be much clearer (I hope ;o) )  
  
  
  
*-* Part seven *-*  
  
  
  
He sighed as he went to sit down, putting the cup of coffee on the little table next to him. He'd been in the waiting-room for over half an hour now, watching people come and go, nurses in blue dresses passing by,.But to him it seemed like he'd been there for an eternity. An eternity of pacing through the room, sweaty hands, worrying about the woman he loved and adored, since he'd rushed her to the hospital.  
  
He was scared; scared she'd loose the babies. That would bring her down completely.  
  
'Mr. Chase?' a doctor approached him, and Xander jumped up.  
  
'Your wife's condition is stabilised.'  
  
'And the babies?' Xander asked.  
  
'They're fine.' the doctor started.  
  
'Thank God.' Xander said.  
  
'But she's had some bleeding, Mr. Chase. Her placenta is ruptured.'  
  
'What are you saying?'  
  
'If she doesn't.take care and rest, she might loose the babies.'  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
She was sitting outside, her sweet face caressed by the sunlight, her eyes pleased by the magnificent colours in front of her. A butterfly moving from one flower to the next. She liked it here. The calm serenity of the garden, the beauty of nature. A place to escape to in the living city of L.A., a place to be on their own a while, a place that allowed her to think.  
  
Her peace was disturbed by a cough behind her.  
  
'Hey Giles.' she said without turning around.  
  
'Hi Willow.Can I join you?'  
  
She nodded and he went to sit down next to her.  
  
'It's nice out here.' He said  
  
'Too bad Angel can't enjoy this.' Willow said, pulling a rose closer to her face so she could take in the sweet scent.  
  
'Cordelia did a nice job here, and I'm sure Angel comes down here, in appropriate times of course.' Giles said, taking in a breath, 'We should get inside, get something ready to eat.' He said while he got up, taking in the sight of the neat garden. It was clear Cordelia liked it too, and had invested a lot of her spare time keeping it all cleaned. A sad smile appeared on his face as he pictured it all covered in weed, then he followed Willow inside, helping the others preparing dinner.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
After some more information, the doctor had led him to a small room, white as snow and very clean, where a pale figure lay asleep in the bed.  
  
'Cordy?' he whispered as he took his place by her side, taking her slender hand into his.  
  
'I swear it'll be all right.' He said, pressing a kiss upon her forehead as he brushed away the strands of hair.  
  
'Xander?' she asked in a soft voice.  
  
'You're awake?'  
  
A weak smile covered her lips.  
  
'It's going to be okay.' He said again, squeezing her hand a little.  
  
'I don't want to loose my babies, Xander.' She said, tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
'You won't, I'll make sure of that.' Xander swore as he gently gave her a hug.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
'This tastes really good guys!' Buffy said as she put some more meat on her fork.  
  
Angel nodded in agreement, even though he didn't really taste much. He'd decided to join them at the table, and even eat some too; he still found it weird to drink his blood in front of Buffy and the Scoobies, and he knew they would be grossed out.  
  
'Thanks.' Dawn said, a smile covering her face, 'Connor did most of it though.' She added, her words making the young boy blush.  
  
Buffy let out a laugh, then said, 'Sure he's your son, Angel?'  
  
'Why?' he asked, a bit uncomfortable.  
  
'I never knew you could cook.' she then said. It was true, she'd never seen Angel do much more in the kitchen then make some tea.  
  
'Actually Angel's a pretty good cook.' Wesley said, his mouth still half- full, as he remembered the scrambled eggs his vampire-friend used to make in the mornings for the A.I.-crew. The others just looked at Angel, a surprised look on their faces, then all looked back at their plates.  
  
'I'm not hungry.' Angel said, getting up and walking to the lobby, leaving the others alone in silence.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
He helped her into the living room, taking small steps, careful not to hurt her, careful not to harm the children in her womb. He urged her to sit down on the couch, giving her time to rest. They had plenty of time anyway.  
  
Even though she still was worried and scared, she was smiling.  
  
'It's good to be home.' She said, a little smile on her face.  
  
'You're lucky the doctors let you go home so quickly.'  
  
'I'll rest.' She said, gratefully accepting the glass of water Dennis handed her, 'Thanks Dennis.'  
  
'Cor, you know what the doctors said.'  
  
'I know, Xander...And I'll take the medication, don't worry.'  
  
'Don't let him do this to you!'  
  
'I won't.' She said, but they both knew that was a lie. She loved Angel, no discussion.  
  
'Get some rest, I've got some errands to run.' He said, giving her a kiss upon her forehead, pulling the blanket Dennis handed him over her. Then he left her, knowing she was in good hands.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
His heart beat at an incredible rate in his chest, his hands were sweaty and clenched around the piece of wood he'd taken with him. The rage he felt had taken him here, a lust to kill him.  
  
He got ready to call out his name, gathering all the inhabitants of the hotel. They had a right to know.no more secrets, no more lies.  
  
Then he spotted his dark figure in a corner of the lobby, alone.  
  
'Angel.' He said, his voice steady, showing no emotion.  
  
'Xander. Where's Cordelia?' the vampire asked.  
  
'At home.' He answered, a bit surprised by Angle's question.  
  
'How is she?' Angel looked at Xander, who was hiding the stake in his pocket.  
  
'She's better, no thanks to you though.' Xander couldn't help giving Angel a biting remark.  
  
'What do you mean?' Angel asked, concerned. There was something Xander was hiding.  
  
'You know damn well. If she looses them, I'll kill you. I swear I'll stake you myself!' Xander said angrily.  
  
'Is something wrong with the babies?' Angel was worried. It wasn't like Xander, threatening him like this. Oh wait . maybe it was, but it proved one thing. He loved Cordy too.  
  
'Yes.' Xander spat, 'She almost lost them, 'cause all she can do is cry over you! You despise me, Angel! They say you've got a soul, but you're still an animal!'  
  
Angel let out a low growl, and Xander kept quiet. Beneath all his anger, he was still scared.  
  
'Get out.' Angel said in a deep voice.  
  
'If she looses them, I swear I'll kill you.' Xander said, then he left.  
  
  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
After dinner, most of the inhabitants had gathered around the table, taking on the invitation of the youngsters, and Fred, to play some board games.  
  
Only Angel had turned the children down, and had reclaimed his place in the shadows in the company of a book, needing some time alone. Thinking over what Xander had said earlier on. Brooding over Cordy, thinking over his decision.  
  
'So here you've been hiding out.' A voice called out.  
  
It was Buffy, slowly walking up to him.  
  
'Sorry.' He said, but made no effort to put his book aside and join his friends.  
  
'What's wrong, Angel? You've been so .distant.' She said, putting an arm around him.  
  
Even though he didn't want to be touched now, he let her.  
  
'I.you know I don't like too much bustle.'  
  
'Angel.'  
  
'Look, Buffy, I just want to be alone for a while..'  
  
'Angel.'  
  
'Please.'  
  
'It's her, isn't it? How can she do this to you?!' Buffy raised her voice.  
  
'She.'  
  
'That cheap.'  
  
But before she could finish her sentence, she was down on the ground, with Angel on top of her, yellow eyes flashing in the darkness. A low growl came from down his throat, then he was gone.  
  
  
  
(lookie look! A reviewbutton! (evil grinning.. Should I update once more this week?.) 


	8. chapter 8

A/N: here we go. Chapter 8, before the weekend.  
  
Okay, a bit disappointing news now. Since I'm going home for my holidays and the 'vacation' we get to study (and the upcoming exams), I won't be able to upload this often (since we're still one of those families without the wonder of internet :'( ) But don't worry, I'll finish this story, I promise!  
  
Anyway, enjoy, It's a bit short maybe, but hey, the next one will be longer :o)  
  
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYBODY!!!!!  
  
*-*-*  
  
Chapter 8  
  
*-*-*  
  
  
  
*~* 1.5 months later *~*  
  
  
  
  
  
POV (guess who.)  
  
  
  
I'm cruising though town, top down, inhaling deeply the nightly air. The stench of exhaust fumes touch my nostrils as I'm waiting at a junction. I can't say I didn't miss it. This city is intoxicating. They're right if they say no one really belongs here. It scares people, it's heavenly. Every time I pass town I'm surprised about the differences in this town. Large skyscrapers, old warehouses, big expensive villas. And yet, all of them are just people, just living, breathing creatures, humans and others. Most of the humans not even aware of the nature of the other ones. Some women smile back at me as I'm waiting at a zebra crossing. Yes, I've still got it.  
  
I've hesitated about coming back here too. Maybe I was better off in Sunnydale, near the hellmouth, annoying the slayer and her friends. But hey, been there, done that. It would get boring too after a while. Instead I'm back in my city. The city of Angels. I came back for her.only her. It's thanks to her I'm back, and this time I'm planning to stay.  
  
  
  
**--**--**  
  
  
  
Buffy's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
It's been over a month now that he's been gone, and still no sign. I can't deny that I'm worried. It's not like him. I miss him, and I love him still.  
  
Spike's here with me, but it doesn't mend the pain. It's not like Angel and I broke up, again, and that I can or want to go on with Spike now. Angel just left. First Cordelia, now me. At least I'm not left alone carrying his children.  
  
Maybe that's why he left. He wouldn't choose, or wouldn't accept it all.  
  
I still don't really understand. What we had was great, really great, like it's always been. And I know our love was true. I miss you, Angel.  
  
I can hear Dawn and Connor laughing down in the kitchen. It's good to see them smile. I agreed on letting Connor come with us to Sunnydale, for Dawn. Even though they're still only teenagers, you can see the love.  
  
Of course I made sure they had separate bedrooms. And Connor is working in the Magic Box during the day. It's surprisingly how much he and Angel are alike, although they probably don't even know it themselves.  
  
Willow and Giles went to L.A. today, to Cordelia and Xander, to see how they were doing, and checking in at the Hyperion to see if there was any news on Angel. I doubt it. He's gone and it's killing me.  
  
  
  
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Cordy's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
Waking up I can hear them stumbling in the kitchen, preparing me some breakfast. Eggs. Xander's sweet and trying hard, and I appreciate it, but he's a lousy cook. For eggs, that is. Or maybe it's because I just got used to Angel's cooking skills.  
  
It's weird, even though I've let Xander back into my heart, it hurts when I think about him. He's been gone for a month and a half now and I don't know if we should give up hope or not.  
  
Xander says not to worry, and not to think about it too much. I know I mustn't. Stress is bad for the babies, and for me. But I still love Angel, that's something that won't change.  
  
I love Xander, and I know he's crazy about me, and I know he'll be a good husband and father, but Angel isn't someone you just stop loving in an instant, not even after all he's done. He's a part of my life.  
  
As I get up, I can feel the babies moving. They're alive and fine. I still rest a lot, but the medication has stopped. The gynaecologist says they'll be okay, and I trust him.  
  
When I enter the kitchen I'm greeted by Xander with a hug and a kiss, then Dennis, giving me my cup of coffee.  
  
In about an hour Willow and Giles will arrive. It's good to see them once in a while. Too bad Connor isn't coming along. I miss him, but it's good he follows his heart.  
  
'Eggs?' Xander asks, helping me push my chair closer to the table, placing a soft kiss on my cheek in the process.  
  
I smile and nod, getting hungry.  
  
It's good to have a family.  
  
  
  
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	9. chapter 9

A/N: Happy new year! Sorry it took me so long to update... Oh yes, little warning for sensitive souls... You come across character death here...  
  
*-*-* Chapter nine *-*-* He'd been watching them about a week now. Getting to know the routines. Dinner at seven, watching TV, she goes to bed at 11, he cleans up and watches some more football. Almost always the same. Them playing happy little family, him watching them from the shadows. It wouldn't be too hard, he thought. The only thing bothering him was that ghost. 'Nothing that some magic can't do.' he said as he made his way to the window, opened a bottle and said something in a long forgotten language. Smoke coming out of the bottle and disappearing into the air. Some seconds later the smoke rushed back into the bottle, which was shaking heavily. Smiling, he sealed the bottle. The pale moon reflected on his pale skin as he made his way towards her front door. She'd gone to bed already, and he got tired of waiting, and he was hungry too, craving for something sweet and fresh. 'Hi.' The boy said as he opened the door, 'Angel?' 'Hey, Xander.' He said, entering the house. 'Still invited over,' he thought, a smile on his face, 'and no annoying ghost around to bother me' 'Wha.Where .' Xander started, but before he could finish, a crack was to be heard, then his limp body collapsed onto the floor. 'Wha.Where. gee, Xander, where? You really are stupid! Whining and crying, is that all you can do?' He said, mocking the dead man lying at his feet. He'd snapped his neck in a second, without much noise. she should still be asleep. With quiet steps he walked on towards her bedroom, gently opening the door, setting eyes upon her sleeping figure. 'Still beautiful.' Angelus whispered as he approached, tugging off his leather pants and his silk blouse, taking his place beside her. She stirred, and slowly opened her eyes. 'Xander?' She asked, trying to identify the figure lying next to her in the darkness. 'Sorry love.' He whispered. 'Angel?' she cried out, still in disbelief. Then she touched his cheek with her hand, a tear rolling down her cheek as she hugged him. 'Hey.' He said, returning the hug. As he broke free from the embrace he let his hands travel along her swollen belly. 'Where have you been?' She asked, pressing her soft lips against his. 'I.I needed to sort some things out.' He said. 'I'm glad you're back.' She said, settling down against him, 'Xander.' she then said, realizing her friend was still around. 'He left when I arrived,' Angelus said, pulling Cordy closer to him, 'Let him be, Cor. You've got me now.' Even though she still couldn't think straight, all kind of thoughts went flying through her head, and she gave in to his sweet words and ministrations. 'I love you.' She whispered as she slowly let him undress her, caressing the strands of hair out of his face. He just smiled, and pressed his cool lips against hers, his tongue playing, desperately begging her entrance to her sweet mouth. As her hands trailed down his bare back, she broke free, in need of air. 'Why did you come back to me, Angel?' She asked, pressing a soft kiss on his neck. He let out a low growl, and had to fight hard to keep control. She still thought he was the Souled Angel, not Angelus. And he tried very hard to keep up appearances. His desire was growing with every touch, the hunger inside of him gnawing, wanting to plunge his sharp fangs into her soft skin, feeding off of her sweet blood. 'I love you, Cordelia.' He said, surprising himself how easy it was to say it, 'You are the one I love, and you are the one carrying my children.' He said, pressing a kiss on her nose while his hands trailed down to where he could feel the heartbeats. Cordy smiled and let out a sigh as she put down her head on her love's shoulder. 'I missed you.' She said, looking into his eyes. 'Really?' He asked, quickly averting his gaze, worried she might find out who he really was. Eyes are the mirror to the soul they say, and in a way that was true. The tenderness of the soul was replaced by the cold and dark of the nothing. Yellow-gold as the demon showed itself. She nodded, then shifted her weight to spoil him with sweet, loving kisses and hungry ministrations, wakening his desire, taunting the demon to show itself. Instead he decided to play along, enjoying the moment, then still his hunger. A moment he thought about the babies, but only for a brief moment, until the passion burning inside of him shut down his senses, and by that he morphed into his demonic form, drawing his fangs into the delicate skin, tasting the sweet blood as he could hear her call out his name in pain and agony. 'Angel.' She said in a pained voice. 'Guess again.' He said as he briefly withdrew his fangs, allowing some blood to poor out of the wound in her neck, then he drank it all as her body went limp in his arms, and the hearts stopped beating. 


	10. Epilogue

A/N: well, here it is.my last chapter (probably.. Thank you all for staying with me this far!  
  
Lissazara: sorry, no wrong post: but here is the answer to all those weird things in the story.  
  
CordiAnne: hope you didn't throw up after all. Here's the ending, no more gross things  
  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
He woke up with a scream, sitting up in his bed, bathing in sweat, taking in heavy breaths, trying to catch reality. Letting out a sigh he tugged back the covers, which he'd pushed away in his sleep, realizing it all had just been a dream. A scary, and very realistic dream.  
  
'Cordy.' He whispered, still feeling how her warm body had pressed against his, teasing, torturing him with sweet ministrations, her lips pressing kisses along his cold body. And it was her blood he still could taste in his mouth and on his lips.  
  
He turned on the little lamp next to his bed, and blinked a few times, sorting reality from nightmare once more. Then his hands wandered off to the empty place next to him, his fingers gently touching the fabric as he let out another sigh, his heart filling with sadness. Not only because of what he dreamt, hurting Cordy, leaving her, killing her. But just because it none of it mattered anymore. He loved her, and she loved him. A love without doubt, without fear. But he'd lost it all. She was gone, disappeared into the night without leaving a trace. the night he had disappeared into the depths of the ocean, locked up in a box by his own son. He'd resurfaced a couple of months later with some help form Gunn, Fred and Connor. Father-son-issues were worked out, but one part of the family was still missing. Cordelia.  
  
A tear escaped his eyes as he thought back of her phone-call. She sounded so. happy, so full of love. And in that moment he was content. In that moment he knew it for sure. He loved Cordy, only her, her completely. 'I'll get you back, Cor. No matter what, no matter where you are. I'll get you home. I need you, I love you.'  
  
Meanwhile on the Astral-plane  
  
'Guys.Please get me out of here! I'm BORED!!! * Sigh * Well, at least the people who've read this story are listening.. Angel, I love you! Please? HEEEEEELP! * Sigh * Why do I even bother? No one's hearing me anyway.  
  
Maybe if I sing a little song, Lorne might hear me!  
  
# Because the.#'  
  
* Aset takes the mike away from Cordy and gives her Adèle's cheese grater *  
  
  
  
* Cordy is giving a very big smile. *  
  
Aset: 'Sorry guys, that's all for now. Reviews are welcome, and appreciated! CU next time!!!'  
  
P.S.: What Cordy is going to do with the cheese grater is up to you! Maybe Adele Elisabeth is so kind to tie Buffy up again. or. I don't know. Cut her way out of the astral plane and go and eat some cheese?  
  
Bye!! *-*-* THE END 


	11. alternative ending

A/N: Hey guys! Okay, here's a short alternative ending to the story :o)  
  
Maybe I'll do a prequel or so, but I'm rather busy with school at the moment, so it might take me a while.  
  
Take care, and 'till the next story :o)  
  
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Epilogue  
  
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He woke up, sitting up in his bed, bathing in sweat, taking in heavy breaths, trying to catch reality. Letting out a sigh he tugged back the covers, which he'd pushed away in his sleep, realising it all had just been a dream. A scary, and very realistic dream.  
  
'Cordy.' He whispered, still feeling how her warm body had pressed against his, teasing, torturing him with sweet ministrations, her lips pressing kisses along his cold body. And it was her blood he could still taste in his mouth and on his lips.  
But waking up he'd felt a presence next to him, like a sweet comfort, a warm blanket of love. Looking next to him, he could see the figure of a woman.  
  
'She's still asleep' he thought, 'I didn't wake her'  
  
Resisting the urge to wake her up and lavish her with a thousand hugs and kisses, he moved closer towards her, finding comfort as he spooned up against her, resting his head against her bare back.  
  
He could hear her moan softly, but she was still fast asleep.  
He'd stopped sweating, and he wasn't gasping for air anymore. She was there, she was all he needed.  
Hearing her heartbeat and feeling her warmth he drifted back to sleep again, knowing all he needed was right there in his arms.  
  
Cordelia Chase, his seer, his soul mate, his love. 


End file.
